5th Sunday of Lent, Year A & Year C
Recording – Year A Readings
Recording – Year C Readings
Readings || Lecturas – Year A
Readings || Lecturas – Year C
Previous Years – Year A: 2017, 2018, 2020
Previous Years – Year C: 2019
Preached at Assumption Parish in Bellingham, WA
English – Year A Readings
[Thank you to T.W. for editing this transcription.]
“The sisters sent word to him, saying, ‘Master, the one you love is ill'” (Jn 11:3). This is the third of the readings from the Gospel of John that the Church gives us for the scrutinies of the catechumens. Catechumens have been preparing for baptism. They are weeks, a couple of days really, away from baptism, and these scrutinies are the way in which they prepare themselves. They ready themselves for baptism. They scrutinize their lives. They bring a spirit of repentance, they pray for repentance, and they receive the gift and the grace and the presence of Christ. So, when we hear the sisters say, “‘Master, the one you love is ill'” (Jn 11:3) we realize that’s intended also for our catechumens. All of these gospels are intended for our catechumens, so that they can enter into it and see themselves in it. The one that you love is ill. All of us are born into a world of sin and death. We’re born into a place that is broken. When we talk about original sin, we’re not talking about something abstract, something that only God can see through his special goggles. We’re talking about the fact that we inherit, just by being born into this world, the sin of this world. All of us are born ill. “‘Master, the one you love is ill'” (Jn 11:3). When we prepare these folks for baptism, we remember ourselves, our own state before baptism, before coming to Christ, and before receiving the grace of the sacraments. We ourselves were ill, and the Church prays for us. Like Martha and Mary, the Church prays for us. They intercede to the Lord for us. They say, Master, the one that you love is ill—this child, this adult, this person who has never known you. This person is ill. Come to us, join us, be with us. Heal these folks who are ill, ill with sin, ill with the sin of the world. Well, Jesus waits two days. Now let’s be clear. He didn’t wait for Lazarus to die. If you do the math, he waited two days, but when he showed up Lazarus was already dead four days. So, he didn’t wait four days so that Lazarus could die. Lazarus was going to die. The Lord knew, though, that if he delayed his coming, the glory of the Lord would be revealed. Somehow raising Lazarus after two days would be less impressive than raising Lazarus after four days. Sometimes that’s the question that we have to ask for our catechumens. Why did it take so long for me to find Jesus? Why did it take me so long to come to baptism? Where was the Lord in all of this? Well, as he tells his disciples it’s going to be for the glory of the Lord. “Jesus said, ‘Take away the stone.’ Martha, the dead man’s sister, said to him, ‘Lord, by now there will be a stench; he has been dead for four days.’ Jesus said to her, ‘Did I not tell you that if you believe, you will see the glory of God'”(Jn 11:40)? Jesus has revealed his glory in the grace given to these catechumens, this prevenient grace, this grace of the calling to come to him. He’s revealed that glory by, in a sense, his delay. To see adult converts brings all of us hope, because it reminds us that the Lord still converts hearts. He still saves those who are ill.
What are the two reactions of Martha and Mary? Well, similar to the story from Luke chapter about who’s going to work and who’s going to listen to Jesus, their personalities come out here. Martha is clearly the intellectual. I’ve always identified with Martha in both stories. She goes to Jesus, and she says, “‘Lord, if you had only been here, my brother would not have died'” (Jn 11:21). And then he goes through a theological discourse. He says, “‘Your brother will rise again.’ Martha said to him, ‘I know that he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day’” (Jn 11:23-24). “‘Yes, Lord; I believe that you are the Christ'” (Jn 11:27). She doesn’t have any doubts of faith. She knows Jesus. She’s invested in the fact that he’s the Messiah, but she’s still sad and disappointed that he wasn’t there to save her brother. Then Mary is often the mystic. She’s the one who sits at the feet of Jesus. She’s also the one who’s kind of acting impulsively. Jesus shows up and she kind of pouts in her room for a little bit, and then he calls her and she comes running. She’s like, oh, he does love me. He wants to see me. She comes running, she falls at his feet and she worships. She’s always the one very close to the Lord and to his presence, to his person. She doesn’t intellectualize the Lord. It’s a very deep and personal relationship she had with him, but she still shows the same disappointment. “‘Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died'” (Jn 11:32).
These two women represent two very important currents in the spiritual life. But this is not the end of the story; they represent something that’s still missing and is my prayer over this gospel today. What’s missing is that Jesus is not internalized for them. Now, granted, he’s still living on earth, so there’s something to be said for the fact that he’s physically in one place or another in their time. But even so, they say, if only you had been here, he would have been saved. They feel his distance. They feel that he’s something external to them. For Martha, he is the external thought. She knows this man is the Messiah and trusts in him, but he’s external to her. He’s something that she hasn’t quite accepted totally her my life. For Mary also, there his presence and there is not presence. She wants to share these experiences with him, but he’s still external to her. He’s still something outside of herself.
This happens to our faith all the time. When I think about Jesus, when I pray to Jesus, I personally always think of him as somebody who comes and goes. He’s in my life. He’s out of my life. When I have a question, or when I have a struggle, I bring it to him. I invite him into that moment. But then I let him leave. He’s in, he’s out, depending on my mood, my feeling, or where I’m at. He’s external to me. The salvation that comes from Jesus is that he is not external to us. He is the resurrection and the life. This plea of Martha and Mary it’s not enough. He can’t show his glory just because Martha believes in him, or Mary wants to be with him. He has to show his glory by giving the fullness of himself, which is to say, by giving their brother life itself. He’s given Mary faith. He’s given Martha hope. But Lazarus gets life. He gets life. What our catechumens are contemplating is not just a faith in Jesus. It’s not just the presence of Jesus externally, where they can come and go into the church, receive the Eucharist and walk away from the Eucharist. What they are contemplating is Jesus the resurrection and the life? The full indwelling of God in themselves. When they go down into this font and come up again, they are joined perfectly to the death and resurrection of Jesus, which, like Lazarus, they die and they rise. They aren’t just given an external presence of the Lord, they are given the Lord himself in their life. They now no longer live of themselves. They live of the power of God. It is God Himself in them that causes them to live and to move and to breathe. It is God Himself in them who accompanies them. They can’t externalize Jesus. They can’t walk toward him or away from him. They can’t bemoan that he wasn’t there when they needed him. He becomes them and they become him. He lives in the very center of their being now and for all eternity.
This happened to all of us at our baptism. We use our catechumens as an example and we pray for them as they prepare. But we remember our own baptism. Jesus dwells in us. He is our life. Apart from him we cannot live. When we talk about Lazarus being ill, we talk about us being dead. We were born dead. We were born dead to sin. We did not have life when we came into this world, because the biological life that we have is meaningless apart from Jesus. We need the divine life. We need the life of Jesus. We need to live the life where every breath we take is breathing in the Holy Spirit and breathing out the gospel. All of us received that life at our baptism. All of us were brought forth from the tomb with Lazarus because Jesus beckoned us to come out. He begged us, as his beloved sons and daughters, to come forth into life, to live life anew. It is an incredible gift to be called out by the Lord. It is an incredible gift to be baptized. It is an incredible gift to know that Jesus is always with us. He is never apart from us. We never have to call him. He is with us always and everywhere.
English – Year C Readings
[Thank you to T.W. for editing this transcription.]
One of my least favorite tropes, and one of my least favorite patterns in American movies today is whenever you have a bad guy, the antagonist, the person who’s doing all these bad things, the person who has a sordid history, the bad guy who converts to the cause of good, that bad guy will not live to see the end of the movie. This happens every time-every single time. Because we, as a society, don’t know what to do with someone like that. So, this person, and given the extreme scale of movies today where it’s society destroying events, has committed atrocities, right? People are usually dead because of this person. Then when they see the cause of good and they convert their life, what do we do with them? Imagine them in the sequel, are they going to be in jail after they convert to the cause of good? Do they have to apologize to all of the families they’ve destroyed? Do they have to rebuild the society they’ve destroyed? We don’t know what to do, so we kill them. We say, well maybe they can give their life to this cause, and then we don’t have to worry about what happens to them afterward. It’s noble that they died for the cause, and also, we don’t have to answer difficult questions. It’s sort of a natural human impulse. We don’t really know what to do with people who have done bad and then try to do good.
This is reflected in real life outside of the movies, in what we see in “cancel culture” today. Somebody does something bad, and then there’s always the question of the authenticity of their apology. But regardless, when somebody does something bad, and let’s assume they authentically apologize, we don’t have a good mechanism to let them back into society. That’s just not our impulse right now. We don’t know what to do with them and so, we sort of have this movement where we just shut them out and say, you can never come back. You can never do the thing that you did again. You can’t be acting again, or you can’t be a comedian again or whatever else. You can’t do this again. It’s a hard thing. It’s the thing that the Church herself has struggled with from the beginning. This passage from the Gospel of John chapter 8 is unique insofar as some very important ancient manuscripts don’t have it. Now we have enough ancient manuscripts that we know this is an original part of the Gospel of John, but some ancient manuscripts skip it. My professors in seminary, when they were trying to explain to me why they skipped it, suggested that the manuscripts that are missing it were early lectionaries, early lists of readings to be read in church. And so, even though they knew this was part of the Gospel of John, they were just like, yeah, let’s just not read this one in church. Let’s read the stuff before it and the stuff after it, but let’s just not read this because even the early Christians really struggled with what it looked like to have radical forgiveness for someone.
In the early Church, there were three big sins. These were the three that would put you in the order of penitence for the rest of your life, or that would kick you out of the Church as the Church struggled with can you be forgiven more than once in your life. For example like after baptism, if you have a major sin, does that mean that you’re not forgiven again? This was a struggle in the Church early on. Well, the three big sins were murder, adultery, and apostasy. If you killed somebody, if you cheated on your spouse, or if you betrayed the faith, those were the things that would basically put you in the order of penitence for the rest of your life. So, to read this gospel and to say, this woman, who committed adultery when confronted and when put in front of the Lord, was given absolute forgiveness, even in the early Church, was an incredibly radical and difficult idea. Now notice the reading doesn’t mitigate the sin. It doesn’t say there were extenuating circumstances, it was fine for this woman to commit adultery, it’s really all the pharisees’ fault that this happened she was entrapped. There are these theories floating out there, but the gospel doesn’t say that. The gospel is just very blunt. This is a woman who did, in fact, commit adultery. But what happens? Well, when she is alone with the Lord and he asks, “‘Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?’ She said, ‘No one, Lord.’ And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I condemn you;’” (Jn 8:10-11). The radicality of that forgiveness is too soft, if we make excuses, if we say, well there wasn’t actually a sin here. We have to confront that this was one of the big three sins in the early Church. This was a big deal. And the Lord, confronted with that sin, says, “‘Neither do I condemn you;’” (Jn 8:11). He gives her absolute forgiveness and then says, “‘Go, and do not sin again’” (Jn 8:11). It’s an incredible moment. It’s a radical moment. It’s a moment that we have to engage with in our life. Do we believe that the Lord when confronted with our own sins, no matter how grave they are, will forgive us those sins? Do we believe that if we come to the Lord with repentance, contrition, and amendment of life, that he will condemn us or he will accept and love us? I love hearing confessions, but in the confessional, I have had to forgive some very dark and deep sins, some very difficult stuff. The standard given to me by the Church is not how grave the sin is. That’s not what depends on whether you receive forgiveness or not. The standard of the Church is, is this person contrite? If they come into the confessional, no matter how horrible the sin is, and if they come into confessional with contrition and amendment of life, then I have no grounds to deny forgiveness. I have to provide that forgiveness because the Lord himself provides that forgiveness. The Lord himself, regardless of the sin, says, neither do I condemn you. What this allows the woman caught in adultery, and us any of us, to do is to move forward. Again, our society struggles with forgiveness. They don’t know what to do with somebody who says, I’m sorry. They don’t know how to reintegrate that person into society. But as Christians, that’s our job. Our job is to accept the forgiveness of people and to find a way to bring them back into the society because they have contrition and amendment of life. It allows us to leave our sins in the past and to move forward in Christ.
Now, an interesting corollary to this is our first reading, because in our first reading, the Lord says, “Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not;” (Is 43:18). An excellent message regarding our sins. If we go to the Lord, if we receive forgiveness, we have to leave our sins in the past. There are many people I talk with in the confessional and out of the confessional. They’ve been forgiven for their sins, but they struggle to forgive themselves. The Lord says, remember not the things of the past. Leave them behind. But what’s fascinating about the first reading is that it’s not talking about sin when it says that. When the Lord says this through Isaiah, the Lord is talking about the Exodus. Because the things he mentions before are, “Thus says the Lord, who opens a way in the sea, and a path in the mighty waters who leads out chariots and horsemen, a powerful army, till they lie prostrate together, never to rise,
snuffed out, quenched like a wick” (Is 18:16-17). He’s talking about the Exodus. The Lord has split open the sea. He has destroyed the army of the Egyptians who wanted to keep the Israelites enslaved. And he says, forget all of that. Leave all of that in the past. He’s telling us not just to leave our sins of the past, leave our victories in the past, even leave those good things in the past. Why? “See, I am doing something new! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it” (Is 18:19)? He is doing something new. And if we’re stuck in the past, whether it’s the past of our sin which has been forgiven, or even the past of our victories, of the lauds that we’ve had, if we’re stuck back there, the Lord cannot do something new for us. But he desires to do something new for us. He desires to take us where we’re at and to bring us into a bright and beautiful and holy future. Whether our past is good or bad, I hope we can desire that. The newness of the Lord, the freshness of the Lord, the power of the Lord going forward.
This is what Saint Paul is talking about in the very last line of our reading, “Just one thing: forgetting what lies behind but straining forward to what lies ahead, I continue my pursuit toward the goal, the prize of God’s upward calling, in Christ Jesus” (Ph 3:13-14). If we cannot center ourselves in the moment and look forward to the goal, if we stay rooted in the past again, whether that past is good or evil, we cannot strive toward the goal of Jesus Christ. The new thing that God wants to do in your life is always going to be founded on Jesus Christ. The place that he is calling you to is a place that is closer to the Lord, and that is informed by the power of Jesus in your life. You have to leave behind the past so that he can do something new. At the beginning of the second reading Saint Paul says, “I even consider everything as a loss because of the supreme good of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have accepted the loss of all things and I consider them so much rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him,” (Ph 3:8-9).
In the pastor’s note this weekend, I wrote about decluttering. We’re spring cleaning. We’re kind of in that era. It’s something that’s very close to my heart. I love to declutter, It’s important to me, but the reason it’s important to me is because it allows me to focus more on mission. If I have all of these things that I’m trying to maintain all the time, all of these things that I have to dust and find places for and that are just distracting my attention all the time, it’s harder for me to remember what’s the mission, what’s important to me, what am I focused on? But the decluttering is more than just physical things. That decluttering is also mental things, memory things. It’s not to say that when we enter into a life of Christ, we forget everything. We’re like, oh yeah, all of my family and friends in the past, they’re gone. They’re out of my life. We’re done. It’s obviously not what God is calling us to do, but what he is calling us to do is to make sure our heart is rightly ordered, to make sure the thing that takes up the most of our attention, the thing that is the goal toward which we are striving, is the new thing in Jesus Christ. He is calling us to make sure that as much as our past informs us, we are focused on the mission Jesus has for us now.
Your life, right now, is infinite potentiality, which is to say you have infinite possibilities ahead of you. Regardless of where you are in life, old or young, regardless of whether your career is solid or not, none of that matters. You do have infinite possibilities ahead of you. You are not defined by your past. You are defined by your adherence to Jesus Christ, by his power and presence in your life, and the new thing he wishes to do for you and in you and with you going forward.
A final note speaking of Saint Paul, remember Saint Paul was the great persecutor of the Church. He stood by and gave assent to the stoning of Saint Stephen, the first martyr after the ascension of Jesus. Saint Paul went around and arrested and presumably killed many of the early Christians. And then one day on the road to Damascus, he has a conversion experience. He shows up, he receives baptism, and suddenly the guy who went around killing everybody is asking to be recognized as a Christian. Now imagine being an early Christian, knowing friends, family possibly who were arrested and killed by this man. And then he presents himself and says, I am a new man in Christ Jesus. I am converted to the Lord. Please accept me as a brother. That’s an incredibly difficult idea to confront. That would be an incredibly difficult thing to do. After all the things he has done in the past, he just shows up and expects to be part of the community. Well, yes. Yes, in fact he does. That’s what we as Christians do. If somebody comes to us with contrition and amendment of life, if they say, I’m sorry and I want to do better, we have no excuse to condemn them because the Lord himself refuses to condemn them.
Español
En el Evangelio de hoy, la mujer sorprendida en adulterio no es condenada por el Señor. Note que los Evangelios no dicen que ella no debería haber sido condenada. Incluso el Señor no dice, directamente, que ella no debe ser apedreada. En cambio, cuando se queda sola con el Señor, él no la condena. Él elige perdonarla y le dice que no peque más.
Mis amigos, esto es lo que sucede en el sacramento de la confesión. Estamos ante el Señor completamente vulnerables, abiertos y transparentes. Nos preocupa que, al hacernos tan vulnerables, nos condene o nos mate, pero nunca lo hace. Si acudimos a él arrepentidos, con la promesa de enmendar nuestra vida, SIEMPRE nos perdona. He tenido que perdonar algunos pecados bastante terribles en el confesionario, pero siempre lo hago, porque si alguien se arrepiente de sus pecados, el Señor siempre perdona y nunca condena.
Por supuesto, muchos de ustedes ya entienden la importancia y la belleza de la confesión, pero muchos de ustedes no entienden cómo confesarse correctamente, así que voy a pasar el día de hoy enseñándoles cómo confesarse mejor.
Primero, ¿cuál es la forma y el orden de la confesión?
Después de entrar al confesionario y sentarse o arrodillarse, comience con la señal de la cruz, mientras dice: “En el nombre del Padre, y del Hijo, y del Espíritu Santo”. Después de esto, me dirás cuánto tiempo ha pasado desde tu última confesión. Mucha gente dirá: “Perdóname, Padre, porque he pecado, han pasado [tantos meses] desde mi última confesión”. Después de esto comienzas a confesar tus pecados. Cuando termines de confesarte, el sacerdote te ofrecerá cualquier reflexión o consejo que pueda tener y luego te dará una penitencia. Después de esto, haces tu acto de contrición, que realmente deberías trabajar para memorizar. Para la mayoría de las personas, el que memorizan comienza, “Dios mio, me arrepiento de todo corazon…”. Finalmente, el sacerdote rezará la oración de absolución sobre ti y te dirá que te vayas en paz. Cuando salga del confesionario, debe tratar de hacer su penitencia en la iglesia antes de irse, si puede.
Segundo, ¿cómo confiesas tus pecados? ¿Qué pecados confiesas?
Es muy importante recordar que tus pecados son tus elecciones. Si no elegiste algo, no es tu pecado. Así, por ejemplo, mucha gente confiesa faltar a las Misas obligatorias, cosa buena y necesaria de confesar. Sin embargo, si faltaron a misa porque estaban enfermos, este no es su pecado porque no fue su elección enfermarse. Si faltaron a misa porque su jefe los programó para trabajar, no es su pecado porque no es su elección, aunque les recuerdo que también hay misas los sábados por la noche. Sin embargo, si alguien falta a misa porque eligió dormir hasta tarde o hacer otra cosa en su lugar, ese es su pecado y debe confesarlo.
Entonces, cuando confesamos, estamos confesando las elecciones que hemos hecho contra Dios o contra nuestro prójimo. Muchas personas vienen y confiesan lo que les hace sentir mal, pero esta no es una buena manera de confesarlo. Así se confiesan los niños, no los adultos. Lo que te hace sentir mal no siempre es una buena manera de medir lo que es un pecado, porque algunas personas se sienten mal por cosas que no son pecados y algunas personas no se sienten mal por cosas que son pecados. Regularmente tengo personas que vienen y confiesan que se sienten mal porque sus hijos no van a Misa o que su cónyuge no les habla. Pero, ¿cuál es tu mala elección aquí? Solo confesamos las cosas que hemos elegido hacer o no hacer. No confesamos las elecciones de los demás, incluso cuando las elecciones de otras personas nos hacen sentir mal. Y es sumamente importante que no confesemos por otras personas. No me importa lo que hicieron los demás, solo me importa lo que hiciste tú.
Cuando nos preparamos para la confesión, es útil hacer un examen de conciencia. Y es realmente útil usar algo de la Biblia. Así, por ejemplo, los dos grandes mandamientos de Jesús son amar a Dios y amar al prójimo. Antes de ir a confesarnos, podríamos preguntar: “¿Cuáles son las formas en las que he fallado en amar a Dios recientemente? ¿He orado? he ido a misa? ¿He dado a la Iglesia?” También podríamos preguntar: “¿Cuáles son las formas en las que he fallado en amar a mi prójimo? ¿He fallado en perdonar a alguien? ¿He peleado con alguien? ¿He fallado en cuidar a alguien de quien tengo responsabilidad?” También podríamos usar los diez mandamientos como un examen de conciencia. Prepararse para la confesión, incluso hacer una lista con anticipación, es muy útil y mejorará su confesión.
En tercer lugar, tenga en cuenta cuándo se está confesando con un sacerdote que tiene dificultades con el español, como yo. Lo mejor que puedes hacer en esa situación es apegarte a una lista de pecados. Entiendo palabras como orgullo, ira, pensamientos impuros, impaciencia, faltar a misa y olvidar la oración. Realmente, realmente lucho con historias completas como: “Estaba hablando con mi esposo y dijo algo malo y le grité”. Lucho con los pronombres en español, así que una vez que nos alejamos de una lista de pecados, lucho por descubrir quién le está haciendo qué a quién. Una lista de pecados también es mejor. Tampoco deberíamos estar contando historias en confesión de todos modos. Si necesita consejo, confiese todos sus pecados y luego haga su pregunta al final.
Por favor, también hágame saber si puede entender inglés. Está bien confesarse en español, especialmente si te apegas a una lista de pecados, pero obtendrás mejores consejos de mí si puedo dártelos en inglés.
Finalmente, ¿hay algo más que debamos saber sobre la confesión?
Si. Como la mujer sorprendida en adulterio, el Señor requiere que al menos tratemos de no pecar más. No puedo perdonar los pecados de las personas que no se arrepienten de sus pecados y que tienen la intención de volver a pecar. La situación más común en la que esto es cierto es la de las personas que viven juntas sin un matrimonio por la Iglesia. Porque cada vez que tienen sexo es pecado mortal, solo puedo perdonar sus pecados si dicen que lo sienten y no tienen la intención de volver a pecar. Algunas parejas son muy valientes y deciden dejar de tener relaciones sexuales hasta que tengan un matrimonio por la Iglesia, y entonces puedo perdonar sus pecados. Todo lo que necesito saber es que van a intentar parar. El Señor siempre nos perdonará, pero también siempre nos dirá que nos vayamos y no pequemos más.
Mis hermanos y hermanas en Cristo, la confesión es un sacramento hermoso, tan lleno de gracia. Es asombroso que el Señor siempre nos perdone, sin importar cuán horrible sea nuestro pecado, siempre y cuando nos arrepintamos y prometamos tratar de hacerlo mejor en el futuro. Él siempre nos perdonará entonces. ¿Por qué querríamos alejarnos de una expresión tan hermosa de amor y perdón? Deberíamos confesarnos cada uno o tres meses. Espero que vengas.
Español – Original English
In the Gospel today, the woman caught in adultery is not condemned by the Lord. Notice that the Gospels do not say that she should not have been condemned. Even the Lord does not say, directly, that she should not be stoned. Instead, when she is left alone with the Lord, he does not condemn her. He chooses to forgive her and tells her to sin no more.
My friends, this is what happens in the sacrament of confession. We stand before the Lord complete vulnerable, open, and transparent. We worry that, in making ourselves so vulnerable, he is going to condemn us or kill us, but he never does. If we come to him repentant, with a promise to amend our life, he ALWAYS forgives us. I have had to forgive some pretty terrible sins in the confessional, but I always do, because if someone is sorry for their sins, the Lord always forgives and never condemns.
Of course, many of you already understand the importance and beauty of confession, but many of you do not understand how to go to confession properly, so I am going to spend today teaching you how to go to confession better.
First, what is the form and order of confession?
After you walk into the confessional and sit or kneel down, you begin with the sign of the cross, while saying “In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.” After this, you tell me how long it has been since your last confession. Many people will say, “Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned, it has been [this many months] since my last confession.” After this you begin confessing your sins. When you are done confessing, the priest will offer any reflection or advice he might have and then give you a penance. After this, you make your act of contrition, which you should really work to memorize. For most people, the one they memorize begins, “Dios mio, me arrepiento de todo corazon…”. Finally, the priest will pray the prayer of absolution over you and tell you to go in peace. When you leave the confessional, you should try to do your penance in the church before you leave if you can.
Second, how do you confess your sins? What sins do you confess?
It is very important to remember that your sins are your choices. If you did not choose something, it is not your sin. So, for example, many people confess missing obligatory Masses, a good and necessary thing to confess. However, if they missed Mass because they were sick, this is not their sin because it was not their choice to get sick. If they missed Mass because their boss scheduled them to work, it is not their sin because it is not their choice, though I would remind them that there are also Masses on Saturday night. However, if someone misses Mass because they chose to sleep in or do something else instead, that is their sin and they must confess it.
So when we confess, we are confessing the choices that we have made against God or against our neighbor. I have so many people come in and confess what they feel bad about, but this is not a good way to confess. This is how children confess, not adults. What you feel bad about it not always a good way to measure what a sin in, because some people feel bad about things that are not sins and some people do not feel bad about things that are sins. I regularly have people come in and confess that they feel bad that their children do not go to Mass or that their spouse does not talk to them. But what is your bad choice here? We only confess the things we have chosen to do or not do. We do not confess the choices of others, even when other people’s choices make us feel bad. And it is supremely important that we do not confess for other people. I do not care what other people did, I only care what you did.
When we prepare for confession, it is helpful to do an examination of conscience. And it is really helpful to use something from the Bible. So, for example, the two great commandments of Jesus are love God and love our neighbor. Before we go to confession, we could ask “What are the ways I have failed to love God recently? Have I prayed? I have gone to Mass? Have I given to the Church?” We might also ask, “What are the ways in which I have failed to love my neighbor? Have I failed to forgive someone? Have I fought with someone? Have I failed to take care of someone that I have responsibility for?” We could also use the ten commandments as an examination of conscience. Preparing for confession, even making a list ahead of time, is super helpful and will make your confession better.
Third, please be aware of when you are confessing to a priest who struggles with Spanish, like me. The best thing you can do in that situation is to stick to a list of sins. I understand words like pride, anger, impure thoughts, impatience, missing Mass, and forgetting prayer. I really, really struggle with full stories like, “I was talking to my husband and he said something mean and I yelled at him.” I struggle with pronouns in Spanish, so once we move away from a list of sins, I struggle to figure out who is doing what to whom. A list of sins is also best. We should also not be telling stories in confession anyway. If you need advice, confess all your sins, and then ask your question at the end.
Please also let me know if you can understand English. It is fine to confess in Spanish, especially if you stick to a list of sins, but you will get better advice from me if I can give you that advice in English.
Finally, is there anything else we should know about confession?
Yes. Like the woman caught in adultery, the Lord requires that we at least try to sin no more. I cannot forgive the sins of people who are not sorry for their sins and who intend to sin again. The most common situation in which this is true is people who are living together without a Church marriage. Because every time they have sex, it is a mortal sin, I can only forgive their sins if they say they are sorry and they do not intend to sin again. Some couples are very courageous and decide to stop having sex until they have a Church marriage, and then I can forgive their sins. All I need to know is that they are going to try to stop. The Lord will always forgive us, but he will also always tell us to go and sin no more.
My brothers and sisters in Christ, confession is a beautiful sacrament, so full of grace. It is amazing that the Lord will always forgive us, not matter how horrible our sin is, as long as we are sorry and promise to try to do better going forward. He will always forgive us then. Why would we want to stay away from such a beautiful expression of love and forgiveness? We should go to confession every one to three months. I hope you will come.
Fr. Moore 
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