This article was recently shared on one of my secular mailing lists, and I thought it would be good to share with you. https://jamesclear.com/why-facts-dont-change-minds
The upshot is that, even though we are taught to argue with logic and rationality, that form of argumentation rarely convinces anyone. Sometimes, it even alienates them more. Instead, we are persuaded by our trusted friends and family, and will often adjust to try to fit in better with them.
What fascinated me was that this was sent to a secular mailing list. And yet, this is a core principle of evangelization that I have been giving people for years! People are rarely, if ever, brought to Christ through sheer debate. But they are often brought to Christ through conversations and discussions with friends and family, particularly when those friends and family are trying to help someone figure out hard questions or get through a hard time. Friends can have profound conversations about difficult and sensitive topics (like religion), but strangers often end up yelling at each other. And because of this, there are often times when friends need to walk away from an argument just to preserve a relationship, and that is okay! Maintain the relationship is the only way our point is eventually going to be heard anyway.
My takeaway from these reflections is two-fold: First, no matter how broken we think the world is, we will do best to focus on the brokenness in our immediate sphere of influence, that is, ourselves and those we love. Anything else will just be like screaming at a brick wall. Second, we should try to start introducing deeper topics of conversation with our friends and family. If these trusted, intimate relationships are the only place where certain topics can be discussed with candor and honesty, then we would be foolish to not try to discuss them. Otherwise, the most important topics in the world will be left completely unaddressed.
Fr. Moore 