There are a lot of things that are frustrating about this Coronavirus shutdown, but the one I am finding most maddening at the moment is just how much we do not know about the future. I am a guy who likes goals and plans and, even if the terminus is excruciatingly far away, if I know that I am making progress, I can be satisfied. But with Coronavirus, no one has a good idea of what the future is going to look like. Even our guesses are wild and speculative. And this is driving me nuts. I want to make plans, get ready, progress forward. I hate being in a holding pattern. I hate just having to wait!
But, like with all aspects of this crisis, grace endures. The Lord Jesus continues to walk with us and to teach us. I think he is teaching me (as he has been for a while now) to give up control, to live in the moment, to be attentive to what is happening now. I put a lot of my self-worth in plans and systems and progress, so this is a hard lesson to learn, which is why the Lord keeps finding new ways to remind me. It is so clear what he is calling me to do each day: wake up, say Mass, pray, and do my best. He is not expecting anything more or anything less. This routine, this monotony, is still absolutely maddening. But it also seems to be in service of my holiness, and I suppose a little frustration and madness can be worthwhile if the end goal is sanctity.
I hope you, too, have been finding the Lord in this shutdown. Or rather, I know that the Lord has been finding you, and I hope you have noticed, even if he is to be found in some hard lessons. We may think this time of isolation is wasted time, but Jesus does not waste time. He uses everything, always, for his glory and our good.
Fr. Moore 